apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
