I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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