I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
