I am in a vortex of obligation.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
