you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
