is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
