Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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