I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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