Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
