Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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