why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
