is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
