Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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