I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
