of course. lets lasso hookers.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
