Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
