No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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