I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
They are going to name an STD after you.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
