A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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