All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
