it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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