How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
