i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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