i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
