that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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