His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
