i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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