I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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