I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
