I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
