it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
