we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
