He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
