I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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