On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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