im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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