Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
