this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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