he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
