I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She's JV to your varsity
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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