So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
