You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
