He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
