I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
