We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
