Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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