Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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