why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
