So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
