So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
