cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
