My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
